Wednesday, February 28, 2007

4 shoots in the span of a week. I feel really productive. not to mention that today i shot pictures that sorta striked a good balance between my 'need' and 'want' pictures.

but extremely tired and stressed.

ah but at least it appears like today's shots don't need that much DI. would have made me feel alot better if the model wasn't 3 hours late though. extra sleep and rest will really make a huge difference..

will go sleep now, gonna wake up to another long day..

Monday, February 26, 2007

Sometimes I feel torn between the type of images I want to create and need to create. Sometimes I feel I stray too much from the want to the need.

Feeling rather productive about last week. Stressful but I'm learning to handle the increasing amount of shoots to handle. Sometimes I yearn for the luxury of a team, someone to produce, someone to handle the wardrobe, someone to do the makeup... Sigh.

Shot for meza virs last night. Bunch of really fun peeps, I really enjoyed it.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

whee. i'm going to fort benning! just that i doubt there'd be much to do. i also think it's right before my final assessments. ah well.

Friday, February 23, 2007

oh come on nothing personal, besides the paranoid part i'm a perfectly happy person now (more or less), and soon to be happier. nothing touchy at all, and when i said photographing that could be interesting, oh please don't take everything word for word.

it's a beautiful sunny saturday.

i dislike the sun. i shall stay in my room and edit photos from last night.
some asked why i care to let it bother me (regarding the previous entry), i guess i'm just paranoid. after his threat (once long ago) to hurt/kill my sis/me, i'd always had nightmares that we're trying to escape from him and he's trying to murder us.

oh i've had occassional scenes of him cutting my flesh off me too. but then again, won't that be an interesting photographing material? so anyway despite being nightmares they are inspiring sometimes too.

and yeah, as i was talking about lithiumpicnic... he photographed dir en grey! there's a legal case going on that can do with some donation, read about it here.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

I'm like, sick againnnn. and i had a nightmare about pattern drafting and not finishing my sewing. ahhhhhHHHHhhhhhh.

anyway, it's my mum's birthday today. i can't believe she's still sleeping on the floor, my stepdad's supposed to be moving out and he still hasn't.

so long as he does before march starts (as the agreement for the divorce papers goes, supposedly), i'll be glad.

pray for me that he doesn't shamelessly overstay, i've had enough of him intruding on our privacy. parading up and down the living room in intervals of lesser than a dozen minutes, trying to stare through my skull while i'm trying to get work done. or, when the household's asleep, waking my sister up at 6am to play with him when everyone's freaking trying to sleep.



Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Dreamer. by =zemotion on deviantART

Finally took time out to properly DI this one. It really wasn't easy deciding on the tonality, a slight shift makes a huge difference.

and i redid the colors for these!

Had really nice steamboat for lunch downstairs, it's only $16.80 per person inclusive of GST and service charge~ anybody who likes steamboat should go try, it's at Balestier Road, directly across the road from Loy Kee Chicken rice. We ordered alot alot of golden mushroom and beef~~ and 百叶 as well, i haven't had that in years.

I'm picking works for Hong to enter for EXPOSÉ 5, I'm not that excited and am not going to submit anything new, I just don't think the book is worth that... With everyone submitting the same stuff we'd seen anyway. I'd rather keep the unpublished images for other things. Wondering whether to submit for CGOverdrive actually, since he might be here when it's on. I feel so bad because I realized after a year I still haven't collected the plaques from their office for having his works in the exhibition last year haha.

Anyway, I just realized I have 2 new corsets sitting in my half unpacked luggaged from London, I hope to be able to use them soon. :D


Sunday, February 18, 2007

Glass by =zemotion on deviantART

don't be shy, click on the image and look at the fullview.

i'm starting to see more and more of the word 'sublime' appearing in comments of my works. it's kinda interesting and somewhat makes me feel complimented.

today i received a note from lithium picnic saying 'nice works..'. he's probably the only photographer i'd admired since i first joined deviantart. okay i mean, he joined some months later than me, but you get the point. of course there're many really amazing photographers on DA, but i really liked his works alot, i guess it's how he makes fetish/goth photos have this really glossed/fashion style in them unlike your regular in your face types. it's quite different from what i like now, but still, i was so happy when i received the note!!! :D

i don't really idolize anyone, ain't really a fan sorta person. but it's like a slice of the joy i'll get when one day yoshiki hayashi compliments that i play piano well. hahahahaha *daydreams* well of course, that's not quite possible.

speaking of yoshiki, i still remember this one weird dream i had once.

i was a character in a game, and ran out of money to teleport myself to other places (well like any transportation, i've to pay). so i had to make my way across this huuuuuge desert on foot. halfway there there was an inn, so i went in to recharge, and blahblahblah you know the standard things you go to inns and shops to do, and checked in.

so here's the exciting part, very short though.

that night the inn was very empty, i was in the hotel restaurant, and i played tears together with yoshiki and hide. i was on piano, yoshiki on drums and hide on his guitar. don't ask me what happened to the bass and vocals, but it just happened that way. like omggg you can't imagine how i felt when i woke up. it's like, I PERFORMED A SONG TOGETHER WITH YOSHIKI AND HIDE.

despite the fact that it's even more impossible than having yoshiki compliment me on my piano, anyway.

so back to my point, i was really really happy hahaha. and then i started being distracted and played cards on sohu games and stopped editting photos. lazing around a little is good~ then i went back to the dozens of emails and notes and messages.

i hope to finish with school's work asap, and i do mean asap, though i feel very unmotivated to do them, but i must!!! have to start working on setting my schedules for new shoots, it's been a long time since i'd done shoots for my personal projects because they all require so much more time and planning. in between my own shoots i have to slot in time to meet clients so i don't starve...

anyway, pass the word, i'm looking for stylists to work with! be it fashion students or working stylists, or even if they're not but with an extensive wardrobe of gorgeous gowns, i want! they'll get lovely photos of the clothes in return and if they're not in fashion i can take some for themselves in exchange for keepsake.

okay, it's a long entry. i hope you managed to receive many many ang paos because i only have 3. i'm surprised after the divorce my stepdad's mum still gave me one.

i'm going to grow sooo faaaat. i'd been eating and eating and eating. i tried to eat lesser cashew nuts today than i'd been in the past few days, but i ended up eating alot of other things. can't blame me though, my mum only has time to make dumplings like, once a year during the chinese new year, and it's soooooooo nice, i had to eat right.

okay, the entry is long and incoherent, it's 3am and i'm sleepy and not making much sense anymore. goodnight kings and queens, caramel dreams.

Saturday, February 17, 2007


been wanting to shoot her even before i got my camera. it was fun, and we talked so much i don't think i even get as much conversation with 4-5 of my usual shoots added up together.

happy cny! eat lots lots okay, worry about the weight gain later.

Friday, February 16, 2007

i received flowers yesterday, from someone i'd never met. even if it's a belated vday present, it still cheered me up.

ahhh happiness.

i took self portraits yesterday. XD

and the lawyer i was writing to replied too. we'll probably go into details after the chinese new year holidays are over. yay.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

yes i'm still alive. so happy to have finally finished processing this set. or so i thought, anyway. now the colours are all over the place i have to redo them tonight.

valentine's day was dry, a friend had his first kiss. do you remember yours?

i'm glad the chinese new year holidays is going to bring me a long weekend. i can do with the break.

and more

Monday, February 12, 2007

issue the headphones shot was in:

the page:the i found out that a friend's work was stolen and used by a girl at an art show, claiming my friend's self portraits to be her photography works and selling them shamelessly. the curator didn't want to take them down when it was brought up on the 2nd day by another exhibitor, saying that it will create an empty space.


i think people take it for granted knowing that poor artists like us have no money to sue them because it will cost us a hell lot and we won't get back enough to cover the fees we end up paying. so they continue stealing, and stealing, and stealing, ripping us off.

i'm going to start sorting this out when i finish my work check week, any contribution of info and ideas will be greatly appreciated.

let's try this.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

who agree with me that it's spoiling the pictures like there's no tomorrow?

this is for those who'd been complaining about me not watermarking my works (i do, by the way, just a bit tiny and undistracting).

haha anyway, it's my first roll from the rolleicord. these are shots of the prints printed by TY photographed (the prints) under my table light, i have yet to get my scanner working to scan the actual prints. they look much better there... i hope to do my own printing in the future. at least i'd have much more control over what i want.

i really like these 2 shots.

alright, it's going to be 2am really soon. i should try to get some sleep, have 4 garments to be finished by tomorrow, i don't think it's going to materialize. gah i need some miracle.

i want to pursue the case about the image usage, but everyone i know/have asked/spoken to have been telling me that it's not worth it, because getting a lawyer and bringing this to court will just cost me more than what i will get in return and it just ends up being more unfair because i'm losing out and i'll lose out more. besides, i don't even have the money to go find a lawyer because i'm such a starving artist.

argh. i really need find and talk to someone who is actually a lawyer, is anyone here in law?

damn gaiman was sexy.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

3rd from the left. that look!

oh yeah of course I didn't photograph that. taken from LitPark. =)


Friday, February 9, 2007

i caaaaannooooooot believe this. ARGHhhhHHHhhhhhh. and this isn't on sg papers as you can tell by the number, it's miami. %(@!)*&#%

won't tolerate this. going to see what i can do.

for the moment i gotta get well first. *goes back to bed and puts ice pack on forehead*

okay, so it's not miami but florida. the person who sent me the photo told me it's a miami paper, i apologize for the confusion.

it seems like if i decide to pursue this and sue the person/company that put up this ad up, it will cost me more than i can get back. does anyone have an idea if there's really nothing i can do? (i mean, of course, other than contacting the papers and asking them to take it down)

by the way thanks to those who're concerned and have commented, i just came back from my rifle monthly shoot and desperately need some rest. i have a couple prints of someone from my rolleicord though. will update later :)

Thursday, February 8, 2007

yay so today i tried the film camera. it's sooooooooooooooo coool. in black and white though, i can't wait to see the prints!!! this is what it's in colour:
but hor that one is square framing~ haha.

good shoot overall. but i won't have the free time to start working on these photos until next week. gahhh i can't wait. marathon mode now .____.

new camera~

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

well okay, actually not new, it's a really really old rolleicord.on a term loan from a friend. hehehe, i'm excited. film film~!!! I can't wait to try XD

such pristine condition right~!!

ok the pouch (? don't know what it's called) looks abit older :P

hmm well i guess that was the only good thing about today. other than that i woke up at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep because i kept thinking about a design that incoporates 3 different types of seams that doesn't require me to kill myself over drafting. but anyway i didn't finish it in the end... i sewed a whole circumference of about 2m of french seam and found out that i did it on the wrong side. *depressed*

any thoughts on the previous shot? processing this set is a bit of a headache. hope to finish the recent photos soon... i haven't been having enough air rifle training. .__.


Monday, February 5, 2007

Ugly. by =zemotion on deviantART

Sheer light II

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Sheer light II by =zemotion on deviantART

there is a significant difference between the first shot and this. the light touch of the fabric in the first reminds me of dreams and kisses. this shot is about tension, and lasts.

Friday, February 2, 2007

hmmm... it happens that quite often the girls i photograph are mix-blooded. jennifer looked so much like a pure asian in some photos that i'd seen, yet in mine she looked like a different person altogether. it's kind of interesting how their looks are so versatile and unique.

i quite like these too. but there're certain things that i want to change and improve on given the chance to do it again. i mean i will, but i just don't think that i'll have the time to do this anytime soon. it gets really hard to work alone without a regular assistant that you can trust and work well with. sigh.

and oh i must write about this. i met up with a friend from china who's here visiting. we went to the tcc at bugis junction and the service was so bad i didn't even bother filling in the feedback form because i doubt they'd do anything at all anyway.

i we made 2 orders of beef moza-tofu and 2 drinks. the drinks took more than 20min to come and the dishes took more than 40min. that's not all, having had wonderful experiences at novena square's tcc i'm quite sure i know how it should be done or should look like at least. it's my absolute favorite dish from them can! you can see a thumbnail here from their website. the layer of cheese that's supposed to be on the top was really just covering abit more than half on mine and didn't even exist for my friend's! we were too starved to complain. *whines* pretty disappointing service too. grr. i just feel like i need to complain because my friend was so cool with it. blahhhhhhh. ah well i guess my trips to the one at novena has spoiled me.

shall go sleep soon. only managed to sleep from 7-8am and some other short periods on the buses.