Sunday, May 31, 2009

Isolation

I feel a strong need to distance myself from people (sometimes), lately.

I'm afraid to talk about myself, about my problems, about anything. Because the moment it leaves my mouth you cannot refrain from exercising your freedom of speech and whatever rights you think you deserve to judge me, criticize me, belittle me. Which by all means, is fine because it is your freedom. But to the point where it borders on verbal abuse? I don't know.


You say I'm self-absorbed and pretentious.

Am I supposed to talk about someone else's future when you questioned about mine? When did talking about myself when asked become a sin?


I'm tired of the same accusations, the same words.

I'm tired of the little images of what my success should be in your heads.

I'm tired of having to deal with it just because of how I think it's out of kindness you said the things you said, how guilty it makes me to be unable to follow your words which do not apply because you do not know my situations.


I cannot be one and a thousand at the same time and please every single one of you, each with an individual opinion.

I too want to lead my life down the path of choices I make.
No matter how your support has propelled me to where I am today, I still want to live my own life.

Is that wrong?

Why is even that being taken away from me?