Sunday, November 15, 2009

Repetition

Do you sometimes feel that life repeats certain of its events in a certain manner, with a certain time cycle?

Lately I'd been thinking about mine.

And feel somewhat fortunate that the frequency of depressive years isn't extremely high. Except when they happen, it's so very condensed.


I have a familiar feeling from long ago, a numbness from loss. It makes me go through my days as if everything is fine, as if I have no tears.

Even though I really really want to cry.

12 comments :

0carina said...

I think it would be surprising how many people can relate to that. Count me in.

Oh, I'm one of the silent readers. Hi

bye bye オモイデ said...

It's difficult to escape the past. :( We can't erase memories... Such a sad, sad thing sometimes. The trick is to think of the future instead, while being positive.

<3

Anonymous said...

Hi JN, I believe suffering is part of life and even in it, there's potential meaning.

“But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bored witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.”

Dostoevski – “There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings.”

dreamtomatoes said...

Hey Jingna,

I don't know what happened, but I hope you feel better.

I know this is a given, but life is filled with ups and downs. The ups will come again.

ps. I'm sorry I missed you in NY.

Kate said...

I know this pain. I'm feeling it now, but it comes and goes. I'm sliding down a very steep slide. I hope I reach the bottom soon and that I can start climbing up again. I hope the same for you too

K xxx

Samantha Nandez said...

Most certainly.

I hope that what ever has happened in your past doesn't take you over, but becomes a part of you and makes you a stronger and better person.

David on Travel said...

Past is always a lesson and memory, present is a gift...

I always feeling lost and depress on what I do but whenever I read your blog and picture, it giving me back the strength to keep on going and improve myself. As is very inspiring to me...thanks...

Hopefully things will get better and you will become stronger and stronger each day...;)

Pix said...

Yeah, but I think with age feelings get clearer. Even if it is just chemistry running through our brain, sometimes being joyous and being sad, like when we were babies, was like a jo-jo. Now when we are happy we are because we got there our-selves and nobody can call us fools, whereas perhaps being depressed is just a way of happyness being on a coffee break :) I think the problem with being weak before the ugly thoughts and moments is that we forget how damn difficult life can be - imagine a thousand years ago when people like us, artistic girls, would be old by now. Don't linger in the shadows, little sister. Bad days have a way of finding us all on their own.

Wolf Schröder said...

It's always okay to cry. Even if someone sees you. I know exactly how the numbness feels. Sometimes it's best to just let it out, even if it is as simple as letting it out in a blog. I hope that you feel better soon.

Your photo looks great, by the way.

Yamabuki said...

Tears are more precious than Gold

Anonymous said...

It's like a note of melancholy in midst of twilight

andz said...

whenever i feel like crying, it usually only means 3 things:
1) i'm missing somebody
2) mr stomach is throwing tantrums again...
3) miss the times with you, joe & pa sitting around through the day enjoying a great game of igo :)

It's kinda more of number 3 nowadays you know...
:)