Monday, May 3, 2010

       

22.

Not a particularly special number, but I was looking at the 21 entry from a year ago, and thinking, just how amazing it is that those events all feel so far away now. It's incredible how fast time passes by.

I haven't been updating as much this year, I think I'd became quieter after my grandma's passing.

Little as I do, I still go out, talk to people, hold meetups, joke with friends and do dinners with pals.
But it's just changed.

In a way, I think you can call it becoming accepting. Maybe? 

A long-time client also once mentioned that I seemed to have mellowed over the years. So perhaps, it is just something that comes with age. I don't really know.


Sometimes I feel old. So old.

So much responsibilities to shoulder, so many expectations to not fail, so much money to deal with, variables to consider.

So much, so much of everything.

But even then.

Even then, I still wake up to dreams of those who're gone. I still remember, I still feel. I am still capable of crying. Still human.

I'm still the little girl chasing after her dreams whilst trying not to drown.

For everyone who's followed me thus far, words can't express the gratitude I have for your support and love.

Thank you.


Jingna
4/5/09

19 comments :

Malika Butler said...

Honestly, I understand how you feel and I find myself feeling like some kid chasing after her dreams in a world that's just so big. Jingna I just wanted to say you've been an inspiration to me for the longest time and as a fan it makes me want to support you even more after reading your post. You are human, but if you ask me you're still amazing and you won't drown, because you're trying to stay afloat. Please keep up your hard work, I can only imagine how stressful it may be, but I believe it'll only make you stronger. Keep fighting!

M. said...

Happy birthday! I wish you the best! Thank you for being such a great person and for everything you do, I admire you and I can’t find the words to express how much I respect and appreciate your masterpieces and also you, as a person.
I’m sorry for your loss and I know how you feel, but just do what you feel it is necessary to do, but not to forget all the beautiful moments. Keep on going!

Talia said...

After reading it I just realized that how true it is that somehow we all connected, feeling the same way after giving our self toward success. Life isn't easy and we learn to live, we dream then we start working hard to meet all the expectations.
"I'm still the little girl chasing after her dreams whilst trying not to drown." This touched my soul we all our little people and trying not to drown in every aspect of life.

Anonymous said...

happy birthday :)
all the love in the world and blessings your way.

♥ from Canada

Wolf Schröder said...

You know, I started following your blog and getting interested in your work around the same time you posted that "21" blog. So I've been through your year of struggle, but more than struggle, there has been beautiful success. It's been an exciting year, and I've thoroughly enjoyed all that you have done. You're very inspiring, and you make a really big difference in so many people's lives. Never give up. Keep showing us beautiful art through the photos you capture.

Antoinette said...

It's hard to believe that you're only 22 right now and that you're feeling old. Unfortunately, facing the mortality of the ones you love and the ones you know, can do that to you. But I take heart in the certainty that you'll be at the same place I am one day....pushing 41 and marveling at your adventures, those you've loved and lost, those you've loved and are still with you and all that you have left ahead of you. Please try not to feel too old just yet; trust me, you've only just begun. Your amazing talent still has so many people to reach! And, well, there is still much that others have to teach you in return.

No doubt, your grandmother is beaming proudly at your accomplishments, your maturity and your amazing sense of self. This is what I have learned about you over the years and I'm just another faceless screen name. Can you imagine what your friends and family see? Hopefully, all of this and more. Here's to another year.....and to many more steps on your journey.

Lyana said...

Thank you for being a continuous inspiration to me. I always enjoy your reflective posts. Though they may not seem like very significant words to you, I always feel depth and meaning behind it. And I am always motivated to work harder. So thank you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jingna, I will always support you and love you =) you are such a big inspiration for me. Because of you, I feel that I also can achieve something big if I work harder.

Everybody knows you are human, and knows how fragile human can be. That's why we support each other for being together make us stronger. Remember that your family, friends & fans are behind you, supporting you. You won't drown coz you have the strength to float. Even if you do, there will be always hands to pull you up. Therefore, good luck on your way to your dream. Never give up, and always do your best.

Dear Jingna, Happy 22nd Birthday! Wish you all the best, and wish you huge Luck and Fortune =) May God bless you always. Have a Blast!! <3

lorna said...

I've been thinking a lot about life & death lately. All because many close friends have lost a beloved since the beginning of 2010. Why are we here? What's the meaning of life? We know very well that sooner or later our physical state will fail us, but what happens to our soul after?

Last year, i visited an old friend at the hospice nearly everyday for a month. Initially, she wasn't ready to go & kept on hoping to make a turn for the better. She felt there were still so much to do in her life, but in the end she realised that she was fighting a losing battle. She was 87. Her last message to me was "There is nothing to fear in death". She's not aligned to any religion.

Azaa said...

Happy Birthday!! wish you all the best in the world!! =)

Marco said...

Happy Birthday!
Cheer up :)

CHER-RY said...

Happy Birthday Jingna!!!!!! and remember everyday is a beautiful day. Cheers!!!

cutlex said...

Happy Birthday! You should be happy you're doing something already. Others are still planning.

Sarolta Márton said...

I wish you a very Happy 22nd Birthday!

Jason Gan said...

Dear Jingna, I think i had been following your blog for a year or more now and i must say your work really out of this world. Very few photographers can even achieve the kinda work that you produce and I am dead serious about that.

So, keep on going. You have the heaps of opportunities for you out there to celebrate your life.

Very sorry about your grand ma but thats life.

Last but not least, have a great year ahead and happy Birthday!

Cassiopeia said...

Happy (late) birthday <3

Luna said...

Cheer up girl! You are only 22! You will have many more excitement, hardships... ahead of you. Just be strong. :)

Your biggest fan,

Luna

Ajdin Barucija said...

I'm glad your maturing, growing up now, becoming a woman.

But always remember, to keep it "Real".

I hope your Grandmother is in a better place, make her proud during your long life because in the end we all are reunited with our loved ones.

Hugg

gakucherie said...

Dear Jingna,

This is really belated but I still hope you had a peaceful and blissful 22nd birthday.

You have truly achieved a lot over the span of the past few years but I am certain you have a lot more in you to give for many more years.

I was walking along Orchard Road a few nights ago and saw your works on display as part of Canon's campaign.
You have the ability to capture that moment of ethereal beauty. Please continue to touch the souls of many with the beauty that comes through your lenses.

Losing the people we love makes us grow up overnight. I still dream of the ones I lost even though it's been more than a decade. But my sadness has changed into acceptance. I treasure each encounter with them as I know and feel that their love for me, and mine for them, has never diminished. We can go forward with their blessings .

Take care, and I hope that this year will be one filled with love and happiness for you.

Cher-ly