Tuesday, November 9, 2010

       

Sunday's Accident

On the drive home from San Gabriel after dinner on Sunday night my roommates and I met with an accident.

I was in the backseat so I didn't see what was happening. I only know we were turning out onto the main road one moment and the next there was a loud bang as we smashed into another car, and the air filled itself with chemicals and smoke and the seat belt strapped so hard into my body it hurt and in that instant I was grateful it held me from crashing into the seat in front.

The smoke got worse and for a moment that felt too long, no one moved. I thought we were going to die.

It became painful to breathe, I thought my friends were hurt, or worse dead. I thought the car would go up in flames, I couldn't see through to anything except the cracked windshield. I thought maybe I was going to be trapped inside because it was happening too fast and I would be out before finding the strength and solution to get out.
 
And then that frozen moment was over. As if in a dream the guys opened their doors, the seat in front of me was pushed forward and I climbed out for air.

The front of the car was a wreck, liquids were streaking towards the sides of the road. The other car had pulled over to the side after the crossing. We went over and in the backseat there was a baby in a carrier wailing.

We hesitantly approached the mother to ask if the child was fine because for all we know something terrible could have happened to such a fragile body. Praise all the gods out there no one was badly injured. I'm so grateful we are all alive.
 

The moments in the car made me think it almost regrettable for me to be dying then. It made me regret how little I'd done with my life, how sad I'd barely done anything enough, how disappointing I'd started taking the existence of others for granted again.

Sometimes, it feels as if death doesn't want me to forget how easily it can take everything away.

29 comments :

Mike | Ash Imagery said...

So powerful.

Anonymous said...

Wow. So glad everyone is okay. And trust me, you have accomplished quite a lot for your age. Certainly more than I have. But yes, we should all try to not take this life for granted.

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing this with us, i think we all now realize this finiteness a little bit more. i'm very happy no one got hurt. x

Azaa said...

I dont know what to say! But I'm just glad that you are not badly hurt!!

Anonymous said...

Oh god, that's really terrible.
I'm glad no one got hurt and I hope you'll be fine again soon.
(and sorry for my poor English)

jennymao said...

Yea, I completely understand those feelings when you're in a car accident - it always happens so sad and quickly - and is such a terrifying moment! :(

Thank goodness everyone was safe! God bless!

javascript:void(0)Rendy Lai said...

I'm glad none of you guys get injured. Thank you for sharing, as your post is so detailed it replayed the moment when I had my accidents. You're right, we shouldn't take life for granted. Again, thank you for sharing.

Chanp said...

o_O
im glad you are fine jingna.

it is events like this that tends to remind us about the value of living.

please take care!

35mil said...

I am so glad to hear that everyone is ok. People are important. Things are just stuff.
Don't undervalue yourself, because you have achieved quite a lot in your short lifetime. Your images have both touched and inspired a lot of people.
At the same time, you are right, life should not be taken for granted.

Live long my friend, because I truly believe that you are going to be Great.

-wl- said...

glad to heard you are ok..
life is short, must appreciate it.

T E said...

Wow, that was a moving entry and a could also be a good reminder to us reading it as well that death isnot picky concerning time, place, and person. I know I am reminded of it by your writing.

Yume Ninja said...

i'm really glad that none of you were hurt. accidents and brushes with death can really change ones perspective on life.

don't be too hard on yourself, you're a great photographer, and exceptionally inspiring and talented. you have already done so much for me and alot of others.

Samantha Nandez said...

Fortunately everyone came out ok.

Don't feel you haven't done much with your life, for you have achieved much more than most at your age. I hope though that you continue to strive for the best and aim for the stars and never let anything bring you down. <3

poohpoot poots....*shits out* said...

oh no. fortunately everyone is alright.

you have achieved more than most of us have every achieved in our life. but then again there are always more things to reach out for especially the close ones.

Tricia said...

Wow...glad everyone is alright.

MilaneseGAL said...

I am glad you are fine.... recovery soon and take some rest. Hugs from Milano

Wendy D. said...

That is riveting.

It sounds realistically surreal; that kind of thing.

Something that has been on mind lately too.

If nothing else, death somehow seems to be inspiration to stand up and walk forwards while our bodies are still healthy. Whether that be taking photos or something else. Oh I don't know.

seth0et0holth said...

*hugs* I am so happy you are OK. Take care of yourself and give yourself plenty of time to recover, and if you have the opportunity to get therapy/counseling go for it - I wish I'd done so after I'd gotten robbed, maybe I would be less fucked up now if I hadn't been such a tough-guy about it at the time.... sudden traumatic events can really cause problems. *hugs*

hxero said...

I'm glad you're ok. Sometimes accidents happen even if you did all the precautions, so let's just do our best and enjoy everyday so that we won't regret at all.

Nitehare said...

Its amazing and frightening how sudden it all was. I understand how you felt at the end. Its not that one hasn't done enough but you become aware that you still have so much unrealized potential. Somehow when everything is at risk it becomes that much more important to achieve.

I'm really glad that no one was badly injured. My prayers are with you for good health and safe travelling in the future =)

Iruka said...

Thank god you are fine!

Yes indeed is in such times would we then get reminded of things and people that we had not cherish. I would treat it as a sign from the universe that that's something you missed and now need to look out for. Things will get way better now. =)

The accident may haunt you for awhile. Be strong. You'll get over it, and live even better now.

Saw Kang Jong said...

Glad you're alright.

Jer said...

Glad you are fine...

Zean said...

I'm happy that you are alright. No one got serious injured..
And more happy when you share with us your precious thinking, about life and death, and you did inspire people...
You are beautiful Jingna.. :) You really are.

Jacklyn Kaye said...

I'm glad you're ok. I don't usually leave comments (lurker) but I just had to say; I can't believe you think you've done nothing with your life. You've inspired so many people (myself included). You're still so young and you're so talented and have achieved so much!

I tell myself everyday I need to get my act together a make something happen with my life because if you (and the many others I look up to) can do it then why can't I?

Slowly, I am working towards changing my life and trying to be in control of my future. And when times get hard and I want to take the easy way out and give up, I go back to the people who've inspired me (people like you) and remind myself why I am doing this.

I know you'll do more great things with your life, don't regret what you haven't done. Focus on what you have yet to do. x

Rocking Doll Museum / Diabetic Lolita said...

I'm glad everyone is okay!

Ian said...

Hi, Jingna:

I also come from China and now live in the UK, I am also a photographer but very normal one and much older than you. I spent my childhood in fears and it haunted for many years.

Reading your last post on your blog really make me feel hurts. However, what I want to say to you is, try to forgive and forget those bad memories and carry on. I know it is very difficult and I tried many years. What finally made me feel life is beautiful is that God saved me. I realised that every life is perfect and beautiful in it’s own way.

As you move to a new place to live, there will be more loneliness in your life; you might face some situation that felt difficult to fit in as well. Tell yourself firmly that you belong to here. And make sure you think like that as well. It is your place and it is your promise land that GOD has leaded you to and claim it with confidence.

You are an amazing and talented girl, I am sure you can do it well. However, if there’s anything that you messed up, just give it a laugh. Don’t give yourself too much pressure.

I will be always on facebook to support you and looking forward to see your amazing images.

If you come to London by any chance, let me know and I can buy you a drink.

Ian

Frank Hong said...

Hey Jingna,

After reading your journal on DA i found this post, I'm sorry to hear about the crash. And I'm So glad you are alright.

Life has an interesting way to teaching us. and we would do better to learn and always be thankful for it, yea?

Take care love.

FH

Chun.V said...

Glad that everyone is fine and for the record you have done amazing stuffs that let lots of people inspired.