My grandma passed away on Boxing Day six years ago.
No one told me the news, even though she was the only one who raised me when I was a child. The way I found out was cruel in its offhandedness, the memory loops around in my head every year when the season comes around.
It hurts, so much so that I sometimes want to claw my chest out and rip my heart to pieces so the pain can stop.
It was the last time I celebrated a Christmas or New Year.
There are blocks of days in a year that are blacked out in my mind. These are days where I know I can’t function. I can't avoid the nightmares, I still mourn.
Sometimes I wonder if it will only end when the entire year is dipped in black, because then I would have no choice but to accept those days as the new norm and live.
Maybe I hold on to too much, maybe I am not as strong as
others, maybe I can never become a person who doesn’t cry on days close
to the death anniversaries of people I knew and cared about. But I think
that's okay. It's a part of me, and has made me into who I am today.
Festive seasons make it hard to talk about pain. If you are hurting inside, you are not alone.
Friday, December 18, 2015
This is the sixth article in my Profoto Blog series.
Hi everyone! In my last five articles for this series, I have covered the process of producing photoshoots, my favorite fashion photography lighting equipment, and tips on how to break into fashion photography. In this sixth and final piece, I would like to follow up on breaking into fashion photography and talk about how one develops into a professional photographer.
People arrive at their destinations through different paths, but many also share the same struggles, dilemmas, and pitfalls. I hope my thoughts will shed some light on what the path of going pro often entails. Let me know what you think at the end of the post!
1) Learn to be Prepared
This subject may sound silly, but for the most of us, we have no idea as to what we’re doing when we first start learning.
On the day I did my first shoot with my first camera, I took it out of its packaging, pressed the shutter, and was greeted with the message: “No Card”.
I’ve always been a more hands-on learner, and prefer jumping into things and learning on the go. However, I’ve learned that gaining a basic understanding of something new before diving in helps manage expectations and allow things to go much more smoothly. Google tips and how-to’s before you try something you haven’t done before, there is usually always some good advice out there, even amongst the seemingly bad ones.
2) Learn with What You Have
My first shoots were self-portraits, pictures of friends, and of my younger sister. If you can photograph normal people and create compelling images, you know you are on the right track in terms of aesthetics and skill-building. As you improve, you will find that people will want to work with you based on your ability to achieve good work with non-models.
My first purchase after my camera was a second-hand hot light, also known as a continuous light. I had endless questions about which strobes to buy or lenses to add to my collection. But at the end of the day, I learned that the 18-55mm kit lens was a decent range to work with as a new photographer, and that a hot light provided me with a good deal of room in terms of experimentation. I mastered shooting with one light, and many of my early works were shot with it alone in my family’s living room.
3) Be Genuine and Do Things Because You Want to
My first model agency test happened through someone I was assisting. The photographer was shooting portraits of elderly people, I was interested in his work and wanted to know what the shoots were like, so I volunteered. One day, he set up a shoot with an agency model and encouraged me to do something on my own. I was given time to set up after he was done. The model’s agency loved my pictures, and they have continued sending me girls ever since.
Do things that you are genuinely interested in. Don’t do things with mixed intentions, ulterior motives or expect reciprocal favors.
People will remember the person who genuinely wanted to be a part of something that they cared about. They will think of you when something perfect for you comes along. This is how opportunities happen.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Hi everyone! I am super excited to share that I will be offering my very first online photography course—Artistic Portrait Photography—on Learn Squared.
In this course, I will walk you through my process of crafting a unique, creative portrait photoshoot.
Beginning with the basics of photography, I will go through all the steps I take from production, lighting, retouching to post-production.
Limited places available for mentorships.
Check out the course page for more information. Hope to see you there! :D